Ted Talk: Why 30 is not the new 20

I stumbled upon this TED talk while scrolling though Facebook.

It's not often that something shared on social media has a huge impact on me (lately my feed has consisted of cooking videos and people talking about politics), but this TED talk truly knocked me off my feet. 

As a twentysomething who is about to graduate from college, I have heard people say how 30 is the new 20. I have also seen how people are waiting longer to dive into their careers, settle down, and start a family. That "later" mentality has the potential to take some of the pressure off that comes with graduation, impending adulthood, and the thought of future careers and relationships...and for many people my age, I think that's the case.  

But Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, challenges that idea in this TED talk by asking "what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say, 'You have 10 extra years to start your life'? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens." 

Nothing happens...how crazy is that? Does she actually wants twentysomethings to be stressed and feel a sense of urgency about the future?  

Yes and no...Meg is saying that we need to take that sense of urgency, and use it as motivation to propel us forward. I think that's such a powerful message. She's saying that twentysomethings should not be wasting this time in our lives. If we're unhappy in a relationship, change it. If we haven't found a career that we love, keep looking.  

As I kept reading, I was able to relate more and more to what Meg was saying. She encouraged all twentysomethings to really claim this time in their lives by doing things to boost their career opportunities and to make connections with people outside of your network.

And then she said this: 
The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.  

I want to take this quote and frame it so that I can read it every day.

In our culture of texting, Tinder, and "talking" we have become complacent. We think that it's fine to settle for a relationship that's not serious, or that it's okay to spend time with that guy who you know you don't see yourself marrying. We say things like, "we're only 21" and "we have all the time in the world" because our society promotes the idea that "30 is the new 20" and that it's okay to settle down later in life.

We should not be simply "making it work" or continuing a relationship with someone because they're giving you attention. Date with marriage in mind, not just to pass the time. Be honest. Be intentional. Have high standards. Do not make excuses and do not settle. 

Wait for the man who loves you the way God intended everyone to be loved.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. 
Proverbs 4:23